Growing Into the "Artist" Title // Get to Know My Insides

Who get's to make the claim and when?

The answer is simply "you" and "right now."

I want this space to be a place where I can be authentic and fight against negative creative thinking that can slow down my creation process. I privately journal everyday and have found that despite its successes, journaling privately does not help me feel seen and heard; it always feels good to know that other people are struggling with similar creative issues and so I want to share them here. I decided to write this blog post because I simply can and have the means to. Even if no one is looking, I am looking at myself and I am doing this for me. Simultaneously, I stand here openly in an attempt to forge the creative community that I want to connect with.

I struggle with terrible imposter syndrome, or otherwise believing that everything I do is not enough or just a fluke. This lack of confidence has held me back from claiming the title of "artist" and "writer" for a long time until I realized that the only person who should have a say in labeling myself is me. I know it sounds rather simple to just state this, but this is simply what it is. If you create art and write then you are an artist and writer, regardless of whether or not you have achieved publication or attention from whatever journal you have been vying for. Making art and writing for myself was the first step into realizing my own potential and gaining confidence. I still do fight against the sensation of feeling like an imposter until I step back and look at everything I have done as a whole and consider, "huh, that sure is a lot of work for someone who is not a creator." If you put in the work, then you are a creator and you get to make your claim to whatever title you want.

Creating is not necessarily for "showing," but can be something personal for your own happiness. Despite whatever the IG algorithm is trying to convince its users today, your work is valuable even if it never hits the explore page. It does hurt, as a budding artist, to not receive the acknowledgement I want from social media, but then I think about how I am putting in the work for my future self and establishing my own sense of identity and brand through my pieces. Every time I make something, I learn something new and the overall process becomes much easier. You're probably as tired as I am of hearing this but, focus on yourself, not what other people are doing (or not doing).

I am what I say and do, I am not what others claim of me. I exist beyond what people see on the outside and I am in control of who I am and what I want to be. I control my own narrative based on my own choices, regardless of what other people may think of me.

Love,

Helisoa